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Welcome to the some-new, none-singing, none-dancing official -alx modern internet web page. If you can remember what was on my old site, then congratulations. If you cannot, then commiserations. However, everyone's a loser with me, because everything here is a total waste of time. Content will appear as I can be arsed to write it, or maybe just convert pages from the old site. Who are you anyway? Please leave me alone, sir.

(Manga-style image of me produced by Katherine Power using the University of St. Andrews' face transformer)

13 hours 48 minutes from Tulsa

I've worked out 13 hours 48 minutes is probably the shortest time I can be from Tulsa while in Brighton. This is based on a journey calculated for 19/01/05:

• A 15 min journey to the train station, setting out at 09:05, probably by taxi - can't rely on buses at that time in the morning.
• A 24 min train journey to Gatwick (Brighton 09:20 arriving at 09:44)
• 31 min check-in and boarding time
• A 12 hour 38 min flight:
  • American Airways flight AA0051 to Dallas (Gatwick 10:15 arriving at 14:25 GMT-6)
  • AA 3819 to Tulsa (Dallas 15:46 arriving 16:53 GMT-6)

This places me, at best, a little over 10 hours closer to Tulsa than Gene Pitney. I have yet to ascertain the location of his ex-lover's arms, and so can't be certain that the temporal distance to those will lie within the 24-hour cutoff-point.

I realise I'm cutting it fine at the Gatwick end, but bear in mind that I may be much closer than 15 min to the train station which would balance out at the airport.

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